I’m staying in a campsite called Flat Dogs here in South Luongwa Nat’l Park. The have created elevated wooden plank platforms in trees to pitch tents on. I raced up one of them which had a stunning view onto the river, home to throngs of croc’s & hippo’s. Once I was sorted out and ready to descend from my perch, I froze. In my excitement to build my little treehouse and relive my fort-building days, I had forgotten that I have an annoying fear of heights issue. A precarious wood ladder bridged the 25 foot height and so everytime I needed to climb down from my nest, I had to inch down backwards. Doing it at night without a flashlight was extra special fun. Nearly as much fun as peeing off the platform in the middle of the night and hoping not to wet someone with my amber fountain of joy.
The first morning, I woke up to the sound of humans scurrying around while banging pots & pans. I unzipped and peered out to find a massive bull elephant marauding his merry way thru camp. He stopped at everyone’s site and used his trunk to unearth every possible source of human food. He was terrorizing a Belgian couple who were cowering behind their vehicle. After crushing most of their cookware, he went onto the French family. The husband had sent the wife and young child off to safety in the lodge while he stayed behind to get some photo’s of his truck being vandalized. By now, 4 staff workers had come with long bamboo poles in a pathetic attempt to distract the elephant. One genius from Denmark layed on his car horn hoping it would scare off the beast. The whole scene was loads of amusement until the Europeans started rushing up my ladder to escape the charging ellie. There we sat, six of us huddled on my platform, watching him grab-sniff-destroy tent poles, metal pots, loaves of bread, sleeping bags, water bottles, spare tires, duffel bags, lanterns, bbq grill, etc. After the incident, as they were making their way down my ladder, I offered the Belgians some of my chocolate and the Frenchman some of my molding cheese.
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