BREAKING NEWS
As an esteemed representative of AlexandEm Inc. I would like to squash the rumour that we will be departing the country so that certain members of our organization can engage in cinematographic activities with an outside association. AlexandEm Inc. have responded by declaring that the statements are absurd and completely unsubstantiated. Members of our group, who will remain anonymous for security reasons, would not undertake any such activity that might jeopardise the integrity of the expedition.
In other news an Earthquake stuck the headquarters of AlexandEm Inc. in Tokyo last night at approximately 1am local time reaching 4.5 on the richter scale. Damage was minimal and within five minutes Japan Railways had sent out emergency crews to attend to the railway lines, moving ballast back to where it lay before the disturbance caused by the quake. No members or property of AlexandEm Inc. were injured or damaged, although one representative was quoted as saying “God Blimey, the guys next door are really going for it”. This is the 3rd large scale earthquake in under two weeks, leaving senior members, and I quote, “Shit Scared” about the eventuality of the ‘Big One’ striking in the coming months.
That is all we have time for today, there will be updates throughout the afternoon and the full bulletin at 7.
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