July 20, 2005 – Monclova, Mexico
-Today was crazy, hurricane Emily rolled inland later than expected and was obviously pissed off, ha-ha. She dumped water all over us for a couple hours straight. I thought the storm would break up over land but it came through and caused flooding. The drive back to the hotel was crazy, water seemed to be everywhere. I thought cars would start floating away down the street. For most of the day I either worked on a small cement ledge 15 off the ground or was on 2 flights of scaffolding. I felt bad I wasn’t mixing cement, that’s the hardest job there is. I think I’m one of the few who work well on small, high spaces though. The weather was horrible, well, by work standards, I like storms. Right after lunch, while I was working on the scaffolding it started poring. We were all drenched and dirty and tired and after working in such bad conditions the inside of the harsh, worn church felt very welcoming and I laid down on a broken pew for some rest. Megan, a 20 yr old energetic college student studying youth ministry, mentioned to me that it was obvious l liked to be alone and that I didn’t talk very much. For some reason what she said to me has been on my mind. I thought about it and I guess the reason is because I don’t like small talk as much as others might. I love people and people boggle my mind, the interaction, the emotions, and the actions of. It’s just that you can’t get to know someone over small talk, I like meaningful conversations and there is something about me that likes, or doesn’t mind being alone or different. Sometimes its nice to just do your own thing, it allows you to have your own thoughts and not be influenced so easily. I don’t consider myself lonely, just sometimes I’m alone. I still love people though.
-Helping build a structure for people to worship/live in, in poverty-stricken Mexico, in the worst weather possible does something to you. The whole situation today was so intense and it’s hard to describe in words. Imagine being a few thousand miles from home, sitting alone on a busted up pew, in an old, cold, cement church your helping build while the weather rages outside. It does something to you. Right now it’s 10:45pm, it’s quiet inside my hotel room while my other roommates quietly sleeping and for the most part, the only question lingering in my mind is whether or not I should eat the last slice of greasy, stale pizza laying in front of me. Believe it or not, it’s times like these that you reflect and find out something about yourself that you never knew.
-When 9/11 happened, I was sad, I cried, but did very little to help, I tried to donate to school fundraisers concerning the terrorist attack but still did little. I donate to those heartbreaking charity jars at fast food chains but usually because I don’t want the change I give. When the tsunami killed 100,000+ in December of 04 I did nothing, I thought about it greatly, but did very little. I think a lot about those things and people everywhere need my help and still I do very little if not anything at all. The past couple of days I have felt like I actually felt like I’ve helped somebody and if people want to feel better about themselves that’s what they need to do. HELP. It’s 11:00pm and I’m getting up early. I’m out, oh and I didn’t eat that crappy pizza.
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