Headed back to the Okavango Delta for a special weekend. But this time, instead of the slack & slog, I’m going on the primp & pamper tour, in luxury. Flew from Gaborone (capital of Botswana in the South) to Maun. Went to see my new bushpilot friend Ivan, who hooked me up huge for my birthday weekend. He made reservations for me at Little Vumbura, a luxury tented camp on an island in a remote part of the Delta. Tonite, I stayed at Ivan’s house in Maun and crashed on his sofa. At 4:30 am, I heard 2 people talking and, without opening my eyes, I just assumed it was already morning and Ivan was just chatting with his roommate. But then I realized it was still dark outside and the noise was coming from the window at the back of the house. I opened my eyes, looked over to the window, and saw a long metal pipe protruding into the house. Ivan’s house was getting burglarized!! And I was only ten feet from these thieving bastards. Fortunately, I was too groggy to react the proper way most would while intruders were forcing entry. I slowly got up, walked over to them while pulling my boxers out of my buttcrack, farted, then said ‘good morning’, and then went and knocked on Ivan’s bedroom door.
“Uh, Ivan, you’re getting robbed.”
By the time Ivan & I came back to the window they had fled. We went outside with flashlights and butcher knives but only saw their footprints (barefooted). I could never fall back asleep cause I was too close to that window and I thought they might come back.
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