The following is an actual form from the Immigration Department which I needed to fill out and have signed by a licensed physician. It’s such a classic that I felt the need to transcribe it here for you:
REPUBLIC OF BOTSWANA
Immigration Act / Form 4
Medical Report
(section 4(7)(e) and regulation 4)
I hereby certify that on , at , I examined Michael Stoerger and found him/her to be-
1) not suffering from any of the disabilities referred to in Note 1;
2) not physically defective except (see Note 2)
3) not suffering from favus, framboesia or yaws, leprosy, scabies, syphilis, trachoma, tuberculosis, or any other disease prescribed in terms of section 7 © of the immigration act.
Signature of Medical Practitioner_______________________________
Qualifications: _____________________________________________
Note 1: The disabilities referred to in paragraph (1) are:
a) being an idiot
b) being an imbecile
c) being a feeble-minded person
d) being an epileptic
e) having had a previous attack of insanity
f) suffering from constitutional psychopathic inferiority
g) suffering from chronic alcoholism
Note 2: Any physical defects should be stated with an indication of their nature and extent.
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I was diagnosed with condition (f) of Note 1 but was able to convince my doctor that my complex was purely institutional. Perhaps they should add a few more subcategories like being a loser, dense, deranged, dim-witted, fool-hardy, a dunce, or simply retarded. Or, how about: “We apologize for the inconvenience, but we only allow intelligent folks into our country. If you do not qualify here in Botswana, perhaps you could apply for entry to the fine state of Texas, USA”.
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