Ok, so I'm back here in Kathmandu, and my trip is pretty much concluded. I bought knives, jewelry, cd's, dvd's, and just about everything else my little heart desired. Seriously, I bought probably $400 worth of music and movies and full seasons of shows today, and I spent a grand total of $55. That's right, and included in my grand purchase is, of course, seasons 1-6 of MacGyver. Oh, and get this, when I got all excited about it and showed Charity's friends, they said who's Macgyver? Seriously? We have an entire generation of people who will never be able to disarm a bomb with a pair of dice and bubble yum, or fix the broken brakeline of a moving big rig with only a bobby pin, a razor blade, and a AA battery. Come on guys, keep Macgyver alive, he'll inevitably keep YOU alive.
I know you're not on here to hear me rant on about my purchases, but I had a good day. It was super relaxing, super fun, and there's always been a sense of ease when any trip draws to a conclusion. This one is different though, and I'm pumped because I don't think my time working abroad is really done. For some reason, everytime I land back in LA, I always think, ok, that was good, and I've learned a few important things, now it's time for me to live my life and wait to see what the next adventure to come my way is. Now, I use the word adventure because no matter where I've been, it has always been just that. In Nacaragua, it was Kukra, in Romania it was the leadership, in Ireland I got lost in Belfast and had to find my way back to Derry, in St. John it was a jellyfish (or something), in Zimbabwe it was most unstable economy I have ever seen in my life, and in China it was, well, everything. (If you ever wanna hear about China, I'll say it again, ask me, Jeff, or Rem. Any one of us will gladly tell you the stories, and we'll talk for hours) Anyhow, I've been on lots of adventures, and this one was definitely up there, so naturally, I was excited to finally be on my next big adventure here in Nepal. But looking back on the week, I am SO excited to be home. I have, honestly, never felt more foreign in my life. Even in the sticks in China, I always had another American or two with me. Here, after I left the Jensen's, I had nothing. Just curry poops, some sort of heat rash on my right arm, and one letter a day that Jo gave for me to read. I was an outsider who didn't understand the tongue, didn't know the culture, and who apparently sweated more than anyone else in the country. So I look back on this week, and I look at the pictures, and I think of the girls I have seen who were brought back from India before they were introduced to the "sex training", I look back on all of this and I think to myself, ok, so what's next. I'm going to wake up tomorrow, eat pancakes (thank you Jennifer), finish packing, load up, drive through the most hellish traffic ever, get on a Boeing 777, fly to Bangkok, hop on an Airbus 345-600 for 16 hours, watch every episode of Macgyver ever, fill out my Customs paperwork, land at LAX, go through Customs, and when the agent asks me where I'm from, I will say with a smile, "The United States of America, and I'm glad to be back." Once I've said that, I know I'm home. I love the states. But after all that, after I declare my citizenship, what next? Oh I'm sure I'll drink the Amp that Jo brought me, and I'm sure I'll show some pictures to some people that I haven't posted on here, but beyond that, what's next? Is Nepal over for me? Do I just look forward to my next adventure? Do I get right back to my standard routine of psychology and fasteners? Not this time. That's not gonna fly this time. This place is seared into me. But here's what's wierd about Nepal, I feel like it has opened up a whole new world to me. How do I explain it to you...... It's like looking at the stars; every now and then you get to see some stars, and they're really pretty, but after years of looking at the stars and liking what I saw, I remember standing on a mountain in Montana with a friend, no lights for miles, and staring up and thinking, this is truly beautiful. See, when we look hard enough, we find what there really is. Just because I can see the stars 4 nights a week from my parents backyard doesn't mean that I can understand the true beauty of them. But, when I finally found that one ridge, miles from nowhere, and when I looked up and saw the sky like I've never seen it before, I thought, wow, now all the other stars will never be the same. And they sure won't be the same. But the difference is now I know what is there. So, now that I've seen "the stars", I take that home with me. I land, declare my citizenship, drink my Amp, but the difference is, this time, I look forward. Not to an adventure, because now that is an inevitable part of my life, but rather I look forward to my life. I look forward to what I can do in places around the world. I look forward to ideas that will flow from my mind, and the minds around me. I look forward to living, and not just existing. Screw existing. It's overrated anyways. Oh sure, I'll exist for a little while as I get the educational neccesseties out of the way, I know there's stars beyond that. I know I can figure something out. And I know I'll be back here, and I'm sure a few of you reading this will be too. Maybe you'll see Dawa. Maybe I never will again. Who knows. If you've survived through all of my ramblings here over the last few minutes, then maybe you'll stick around for one more short one...
I am excited to go home, and honestly, there are few better feelings than landing in LAX after a trip, but as I do, I'll be thinking about what I've just seen, and smelled, and tasted, and I'm sure I will forget some of it as that tends to happen, but I do know that as I'm leaving this place, I can look back and think to myself, "wow..." That's right, thats the deepest thing I can come up with. Wow. What would you say? What have you said? When you leave and come back, what do you say? Kelly, when you think about Kevin, what can you say? Sara, when you think about Zim, what can you say? Jo, when you remember holding Kuda baby in your arms, what can you say? See, words can't always describe emotion. That's why we laugh and cry. When someone close dies, words don't cut it, but a tear sure does. And when cody farts and clears the patio while there's a stiff breeze outside, words don't cut it, but the laughter does. The funny thing is, when I think of Lee Roy Hearron's life, and when I think of Cody's gnarly farts, I think "wow" for both. Yeah, I know, they're totally different things, and are not comparable, but not being able to describe emotions is there for both. So as I leave, I will say the same thing that Kelly, Sara, Jo, or anyone at Lee Roy's funeral said; Wow. That will have to do for now. Dawa, Clark, Jennifer, Surrin, curry, sunburns and heatrash, cheap cd's, the Nepal smell... Wow.
Peace
-Adam Hearron
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