FOR anyone not familiar with the chunk of land known as Australia, take our word for it when we say that it is a big country.
So big, in fact, that despite spending two of our last three holidays 'Down Under' (in Perth and Darwin), there are still vasts tracts which we have not seen.
One of these was the Gold Coast - a surf-washed line of beaches backed by forested hills and mountains in the south of Queensland.
So it is now three out of four hols which we have taken in Australia.
We started by travelled down on the Sunlander, the train which saunters down the coast from Cairns to Brisbane, enjoying the luxury of Queenslander class which involved our own cabin, a lounge car and a dining car.
The food was excellent the scenery changed regularly: from the green-cloaked mountains outside Townsville to the sugar-cane town of Ayr, and eventually the sharp peaks of the Glasshouse Mountains.
We spent a couple of days in Brisbane, the state capital, enjoying the cooler temperatures.
We climbed the Story Bridge, one of only three bridges in the world which you can (legally) clamber over, and went kayaking on the Brisbane River, carefully avoiding the CityCat ferries. Now that was fun.
Then we picked up a hire car - a dusty-orange muscle car with six cylinders and tinted windows - and headed down to the Gold Coast itself.
Our room at the Sofitel, complete with a bottle of Moet in the ice bucket, was so nice that Gemma leaped around the room with joy.
We were also treated to a yummy degustation dinner (meaning they bring you about seven smaller courses) with another bottle of champagne.
If anyone was in any doubt that we were being spoilt, we also had the chance to go on a flight simulator, in a half-million-dollar machine which had a complete cockpit that actual pilots use to train in.
Not that I (Andy) am much of a pilot - after half-a-dozen circuits of Queenstown airport in New Zealand I think most of my passengers would have needed a bottle of champagne to calm their nerves....
In part two: Andy whimpers through a ropes course 30m above the a forest floor, the place where Christmas comes in July and a five-day health retreat which had us feeling great again (without the champagne)
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