This year has been the hardest year of my life...so much has happend...so much that could of torn me down and could of broken me completly...the death of my father was one of the hardest things i've ever had to deal with...my whole life was spent trying to please him...trying to be the perfect daughter...when he died a part of me died with him...through the anquish of loosing my dad, God opened up doors that i wouldnt of walked through had my dad been alive...at some point i had lost focus of what was really important in this life...i was aiming to please my dad and I was putting God on the back burner...in the back of my mind i acknowledged the fact that i was doing this and i knew it was wrong...the drive to please my earthly father overcame my drive to please my heavenly father...i look back and wonder, how could this of happend??? I realize that the flesh is indeed weak and that at that point in my life what i could see was more important than what i could feel...I am however blessed that through a tragedy there is some sort of light at the end of the tunnel that only God can produce...An opportunity has presented itself...i cannot deny Gods timing in all of this...the opportunity to go out and spread the good news of Jesus Christ is filling every pore of my body...Jesus said "the harvest is plentiful and the workers are few"..."I send yuo forth as sheep among the wolves"...the time is now...the time to go out into the world..the battlefield if you will...i am prepared to give up everything..He said you must be willing to take up your cross to follow him...I know without any doubt that this is what i'm being called to do...In March I will be going to a Discipleship Training School in Oxford, New Zealand...Through Youth With A Mission (YWAM), I will have the opportunity to grow closer to God, to go out to the nations and share the love of Christ with those that may not know him...I have no doubt that God is opening a new chapter in my life and that it will be an awesome experience..I will praise him in the storm..he has never let me down..he is my strengh when i am weak..he is my rock..he is my savior and my redeemer and for this i am thankful
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