Yesterday we spent the day on the road, heading down to see Sisunee's Dad who had a severe stroke two months ago, and has lost almost all speech and motor coordination because of it.
It was really neat to see how her extended family (8 brothers and sisters) all came as apparently they do everyday if they are in the area. Everyone talked to and was touching and rubbing his arms and legs, chattering away for hours. They were all eager to involve me, and I tried really hard (and succeeded I think) to not show how uncomfortable I was. It really distresses me to see people in pain, or when they are so ill they are no longer the people they used to be. Nevertheless, I chatted with the family, sang a song for him (Leader of the Band, because apparently he used to love to play music and sing), and kept a smile on my face.
Tanapat and I had a long conversation after about our cultures. He couldn't believe that while in the hospital, for the most part, the nurses take care of our ill, and family members visit off and on (usually not staying the night). Here in Thailand, family members take turns spending days and nights with the ill person, and they do most of the work like feeding, changing, keeping them comfortabe, and being on call at all times for whatever they need. Now I understand why everyone was aghast I spent a night alone in the hospital. To me, it was just a night where I didn't have to worry about waking someone up if I needed to move around for wahetevr reason. To them, it showed that I was not being cared for enough.
It scandalized Tanapat that we don't automatically move our elderly parents in with the oldest son or daughter until I explained how we are raised from a younger age to be very independant- getting jobs at 15 or 16, sometimes paying for our own education, going into debt to get mortgages, and so on. He said in Thailand no matter how old the child, the parents are always proud to give whatever money they need, because they know that one day the child will provide for them in the same way in their old age.
We chatted about how I was really uncomfortable relying on other people, and how much I hate to be a burdon, and how that definetly runs in my family. If people spend time with me, it takes away from the time they need to be sleeping well in their own beds, taking care of the home, and doing work. He never really understood that point, and brushed it off as a farang thing.
The discussion got very lively when we discussed how children are disciplined in schools and by parents in both cultures. Let me tell you, the first time I saw a teacher hit a kid with a ruler I did a doubletake. I thought the walking sticks some teachers held were just used to tap the child's leg to get his/her attention (that's what I saw for the first two weeks), but I had no idea that it would be used with a good amount of force. Tanapat did not really understand the idea of detention in Canada, and our system for dscipline (going to the Principal, calling the parents, and especially suspension and expelling) made no sense to him at all. He said that Thai children would never listen if they did it that way. I didn't realy know what to say, because I don't know if either system really works....
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