“There was a time I wanted to change the world. Now I just want to leave the room with some dignity.”
Thankfully, that is not a quote from a VSO volunteer here in Cameroon, but comes from a movie called Shortbus. Very good movie, although I don’t recommend it, unless you are very very very open-minded about how people spend their Friday evenings.
Thought I’d relay a few things to you about my daily life in Santa:
- I have decided to start lobbying to have a new Principle added to the Human Rights list. Simply put, those of us who get to wear flip-flops to the office are living an advantaged life. We’ve got something going here, and I plan to work the model when I return home.
- There is no feeling more satisfying than having all my reserve water containers filled and ready for use when the tap is not working (I have about a 20% success rate with the running water in my house). Luxury redefined, that is.
- It is perfectly acceptable to wash one’s dishes on the bathroom floor. Admittedly, not a Cameroonian custom, but it works well in my household. In fact, for the benefit of efficiency, it makes perfect sense to take a bucket bath, wash the dishes, and clean the bathroom in one fell swoop. Next notch: Laundry Day!!
- I’m just itching to use the word “irregardless” somewhere in this journal entry, just to show that my command of the English language has not been tainted by my Pidgin influences.
- I developed a very comforting and mutually beneficial relationship with one of the neighbours’ chickens (platonic, you filthy-minded heathens). It would regularly sit outside my front door while I played a fine selection of Irish jigs and reels on my flute, suggesting that perhaps it enjoyed my musical prowess, or that my flute playing sounded like a rooster in high season. Irregardless, said chicken has not been around for the past week or so. I suspect it was sent to the farm for a better life.
- People talk about malaria here they way we talk about the common cold at home. Assume you’re going to get it, then off to the hospital for a couple of days. I haven’t met one person yet who hasn’t had it, although no one takes any preventative care (meds, nets, or repellent). This year will be a good test for the anti-malarials I’m taking, although I’m assuming it will hit me at least once. Fingers are crossed.
- Nigerian music videos are all the rage here. I’ve downloaded several on my laptop. When I get home, I’m going to make all of you watch all of them. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
- Alarm clocks are unnecessary. I’m fairly certain that Cameroonians have secretly developed solar powered stereos. They work like this: a) the sun pops up over the horizon; b) ALL of the stereos in town crank up at that first suggestion of light. No one is asleep past 6am here. Also, the cultural norm is to adjust the volume on the stereo just a bit beyond the speakers’ capacity, providing for a constant level of distortion, irregardless of the style of music being played. A point of note: it is not necessary to turn down your stereo in your place of business when someone strikes up a conversation, even if you are a local merchant striving for customer satisfaction, or carrying on a business meeting.
- Mel Tormé is OK!! Granted, no one can hold a candle to the Nat King Cole Trio, but what’s he got to do with Cameroon?
- Nobody in Cameroon listens to Mel Tormé.
- I’ve confirmed it. White people shouldn’t dance in public, at least not in Africa. I went to a nightclub in Santa (there are three!!), to discover that everyone had his or her own dancing style, and looked way cooler than me. I was humbled. I was that close to breaking into the ‘sprinkler’, but I had already compromised my respect by getting up on the floor in the first place.
- It would be in your best interest, as you read the preceding observation, to discard any perception you have of what a nightclub looks like. This is a small village in Africa. ‘Nuff said.
- The name of this town, ‘Santa’, has nothing to do with Saint Nick (Patron saint of flying ungulates). It’s actually an old word from one of the traditional languages, meaning ‘far away place’.
I’m well aware that, with the exception of the last point, this journal entry reflects an unworthy blend of redundancy, irrelevance, mootness and improperly utilized internet space. Just working on my aspirations, without raising your hopes to unrealistic levels. The reality is, though, it is these little quirks that remind me daily that life here is so different from what we have in Canada.
By the way, ‘mootness’ is not a word. Irregardless, I still managed to use it in an incorrect context in the previous paragraph.
There are many things I’ve seen in Cameroon that are sobering, to say the least. I’ll save them for another journal entry, and simply say for now that I can’t get over how lucky I am to have lived the life I have so far.
By the way, the internet is almost full. Get your emails out, quick.
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