I’m in Budapest and I love this city.
To reminise a bit about Romania: we worked with Metro ministries. The ministry itself was challenging at time, but not too difficult: loving cute (but very filthy) gypsy kids and helping the Metro Ministries staff run the Sunday schools in various surrounding remote villages. Within our outreach team we struggled with team unity. We all desired to serve each other and together, but misunderstanding has a magnificent way of corrupting even the best intentions. We got through and all learned a lot, though; and I think we’re tighter as a team. We discovered our purpose there in Romania was to serve the metro staff as best as we could. There were like 12 gypsy young adults and one girl from France, overseen by a Swiss woman; all leading these Sunday schools. They were such awesome people, lots of fun and so easy to love. They were struggling with team unity too. Our second last night there we served and shared with them a special dinner and one of our team members ended up sharing the story of our team’s struggle with unity and it broke something in their team. There was really good breakthrough that night. During the weeks leading up to that we also prayed over a lot of the staff individually.
Other notes about Romania: we did worship in Romanian and English. I learned some Romanian, but could only remember “Buna” (hello) when I needed to use it. Cows and sheep were herded by our front door daily by their shepherds.
The gypsy kids were sweet but crazy. I gave lots of love b/c that’s all I could do pretty much. It was hard to leave. I learned (well, I’m still learning) that I cannot take personal responsibility for everything that I can see to do in a place. That place needed a lot of work, a lot of practical service, and it was hard for me to come to terms with the fact that that was not why we were there and that our presence and our service was still valuable.
Another note: Gypsy culture is messed, they are exposed to sex very young. Most live in these tiny one room shacks, so they see everything that goes on in a family. Also, parents treat their kids pretty bad, there’s a lot of neglect and physical abuse and it just gets passed on down through the generations.
Positive notes though, Ashley and I got to share our life stories with a small group of gypsy teens, and through translation we got to talk with them after and pray with some and encourage them. Also on another day our team got to play games with the kids from the Apata village, that was a lot of fun too. I also “preached” in a Hungarian church (tiny little church…30 people maybe? Half Hungarian grandmas and half was gypsy families).
I struggled a lot spiritually in Apata. I was depressed a lot and just struggling with feelings that I thought I had abandoned years ago: Feeling worthless and inadequate. I prayed through a lot of stuff with our school leader (she came to visit us for a few days).
Now I’m in Budapest! The city is awesome, it beautiful, oddly calming in its city-business. I could live here, easily. It’s got charm. There are gardens everywhere, beautiful old architecture, I’m looking for a reason to come back here. I will try to learn some Hungarian, but it’s very hard, but unlike Romanian, French, Spanish it is NOT Latin based. I know the word for thank you….but my pronunciation sucks.
I love the people we’re working with here at Ywam Budapest. I must be honest though: I’m struggling spiritually in new ways. I never thought I would struggle like this in outreach. We’re staying in a gorgeous apartment for most of the rest of outreach, it’s comfortable, so I get frustrated with myself for struggling. We will be working in a school some days, doing street evangelism other days and a coffee house ministry. I know these people mean well and totally have a God-given heart for this stuff; but I’m struggling, with the way they do things. I’m trying to pray through this. I trust that God is working on my heart.
Another (embarrassing) point that is causing me stress is that I’ve gained a lot of weight. None of my pants fit, and it’s frustrating. I tried to go shopping today, but I didn’t really find anything and all the jeans were pretty expensive too. I’ve started running daily, so we’ll see what happens. I’m so not comfortable with my body right now.
I’m also thinking of my future a lot these days. After DTS I’m traveling with a friend to Paris, her dad gave us both money; I’m still so incredibly floored about that. I’m wondering if I come back to Switzerland and do a Biblical studies course for 3 months and then do another YWAM school of “Introduction to Primary Health Care”; further putting fashion design on hold. I don’t know.
So this is where I’m at. Loving Budapest and struggling spiritually (I don’t think we’re ever not supposed to struggle), but pressing into God and still taking things step-by-step.
I love you all and I’m sorry that it has taken so incredibly long to reply.
(PS, this beautiful apt/house is not yet owned by Ywam Budapest and some dates got messed up in translating the buy/leasing contract and this base needs tons of money so seal this deal…..by tomorrow I think. Pray.)
|
