Even though my last weekend was pretty brutal…I have since found out that I was very fortunate to be out of town.
My laundry days are Tuesday and Friday. The general routine is to hand over all my clothes, towels, and my sheets if needed. So at the end of this last week I put my sheets in for cleaning. When I got back to town …..I noticed that there was a completely new bedroom set in my room. I am normally a huge fan of new sheets…….but I noticed that these sheets were different…….they were silk. Now, I have never been a fan of silk. I don’t care if you wear it or hang it over windows….hell, I don’t even like it when girls wear silk panties. For some reason….there is a huge douche factor that I associate with silk…..not to mention the fact that it is the most uncomfortable material that you can put around your body. So back to the sheets…. When I first saw my new “bedroom set” I thought how lovely. Here is a bright blue, silk bedroom set with a silk lace (picture has been added) heart embroidered in the middle. So the evening came around and I was pretty beat. I pulled back the comforter and noticed that the sheets…..and the fucking pillow case were also made of silk or a material very close to silk. No big deal……as I did not spring for any of these items in my room….nor would I ever. So I lie down and turn the light out. After about…..let’s say 30 seconds……I feel a trickle of sweat make its way down my shoulder all the way to the bottom sheet. I then notice that my legs are starting to perspire. I lift my head up so that I can remove the top cover…..and when I do……..the matching blue pillowcase has sweat all over it. I throw the top cover off so that I can cool off…….but all that does is tune me into the fact that the other half of my body is still touching the silk. To make matters worse……after about 5 minutes…..my body begins to stick to the damn sheets…….and each time I move (so that I can allow the pools of sweat to drain off my body) the sheets become removed from the mattress. In addition……I have to rotate my head every few minutes….because I am now sweating so badly that there is a possibility that I might get swimmers ear. By this point……..I feel like I am sitting in a kiddie pool in my own room…..except for the fact that kiddie pools are more stylish than silk bedroom sets. My next plan of action was to remove the pillowcase so that I could at least have one body part not touching Hugh Hefner’s robe…..but when I do…..I am surprised to find that the pillow is not actually “sealed” and as I remove it from the pillowcase……small pieces of foam come out and are sticking to my body. I put the pillow back in the case……and wrap one of my shirts around it. After about an hour of trying to adjust…..I simply get pissed and throw every piece of this shitty silk set over in the corner (except for the pillowcase) and proceeded to lay some of my clothes down on the bed so that I did not have to sleep on a raw Costa Rican mattress.
I have two more days before laundry…..and right now my Spanish is not good enough to say “Hey, yesterday we got a call from the Horseshoe Hotel in Vegas and they need their sheets back now.” My room looks so cheesy right now…..I keep looking for the slot so that I can pay to make the bed vibrate………..
Hasta Pronto
Ashby
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