It is actually late April (the 22nd) and so I have had a bit of time to think back and reflect on what has happened...AND SO I feel I am ready to tell Eric's story. I wrote this in the present tense, so don't be confused. Here goes...
Of all the internet cafes on Khao Saun Road, I am committed to THIS ONE. I am checking my e-mail very early this morning, and so naturally the cafe is nearly vaccant...that is with the exception of the receptionist and the elderly man on the couch behind me. I plunk away at the keyboard as I overhear the man struggle to communicate with a Thai operater. He cries with the borrowed cellphone to his ear.
I pray. "Lord?..." I feel His blessing. He is leading, I will follow. I wait for the man to finish his call and then I ask, "Sir, is there anything that I can do for you?" He doesn't answer my question, but he does begin to tell me his story. I stand up and join him on the couch.
Erik is an 82 year old from Canada. He has recently undergone a major operation. The doctors told him he had 2 years to live, so he is traveling to find a reliable orphanage in Vietnam, to which he will leave his entire enharitance.
"2 years? More like 2 months." Erik chuckles as he tells me. I manage a smile, but tears come much more readily. His body is shutting down. He can't eat. He looks anorexic and his cheeks are dark and hollow. His stomach is bloated with water and gas. He is in terrible pain.
I offer my time, my company...anything. He cannot understand my offer, nor can he accept it. He learns of my faith and he explains his own reasoning. He has no family and no friends. He doesn't love and he isn't loved. He doesn't trust people. He doesn't believe in the goodness of people...and in turn,he doesn't believe in the goodness of God. He has good reason not to. He is alone. He is independent. He is his own savior. He cannot recieve anything without giving more in return.
I cannot imagine living in such darkness...such loneliness.
I bluntly say, "Erik, you are a very stubborn man. But today you have met your match, for I too am very stubborn. I AM going to love you AND keep you company AND pray for you, whether you like it or not. AND I AM coming with you to the Canadian Embassy, because there is no way those cute little Thai ladies are going to be able to support you as you walk." He smiles and I laugh. He chuckles to himself and shakes his head. He is relieved and pleased, yet still unable to ask or except help without payment.
"You can't pay off a Christian," Erik says, "You do it for your God."
"So true." I laugh.
And so I join Erik to the Canadian Embassy. He introduces me as a Christian, an angel, a messenger of Christ. He does this to EVERY English person we encounter and the occasional Thai (and he will continue to also). He explains his story and our story to all who will listen. "What do I do Lord?" I feel the Lord say, "Just hold his hand, listen, and say what I tell you to say. He is basically doing all the work for you." It's true. He is witnessing, he is making my job easy :)
In my thoughts I am honored to be trusted by the Lord for such a task as this, I do not feel qualified, but I have full confidence in the Lord. I had previously thought that I would enjoy such titles as "messenger of Christ," BUT IN TRUTH I AM PETRIFIED AT THE RESPONSIBILITY WHICH COMES WITH THAT TITLE. I AM NOW A PUBLIC ADVICATE FOR CHRIST. I DO NOT WANT TO MIS-REPRESENT MY GOOD GOD. I WANT TO BRING HONOR & GLORY & PRAISE TO HIS NAME. And yet I am human, I am so weak, so foolish, so young...God please hold me fast, give we wisdom, discernment, everything I need. Thank you, Lord.
It seems Erik will not be flying back to Canada without a medical escort. Money is also an issue.
The next day, an ambulance comes to fetch Erik from the very same internet cafe. The cafe adjoined to Erik's hostel. God is a Master planner. This is the first ambulance ride for the both of us. We arrive at a public health care center in Bangkok, Thailand. I stay with him throughout the entire day. We talk of Jesus when he is awake...I pray, journal, and draw pictures while he sleeps. I visit Erik in the hospital every day for the next 4-5 days. Brian, a member of my outreach team, often joins me...Steven is a third party on our last day. Throughout this time, Erik and I have good conversation. We laugh, but mostly we talk of his life, of death and of hope in Jesus. I am a bystander as the Holy Spirit convicts Erik. One day all of Erik's sin came out. It was messy, but it was also very good and very necessary. God is breaking down the walls. God is also humbling Erik in his helplessness. Erik is forced to be dependent and to rely on the goodness of other people...perfect strangers actually. He confesses disbelief as a response to the genuine kindness of us strangers. He is beginning to believe in the goodness of people and in turn the goodness of God. It is amazing how connected the two are. We talk about Jesus, but Erik has not yet accepted Jesus. He explains that he is unable to cry out to Him with a sincere heart. Erik knows that it is pride, which is getting in the way. He tells me that his last prayer for himself is to reach such a state of pain that he can do nothing but SINCERELY cry out to Jesus for mercy. What a prayer for yourself. Erik knows what is important. He understands the seriousness of the situation--rejecting God's Grace through Jesus is no light matter. There is no way God would not answer a prayer like that.
My team decided to keep moving. I felt the Lord's blessing, and Erik was showing hopeful signs of recovery. We said farewell, we prayed for him, and left him all sorts of colorful pictures and Bible verses. His hospital room was modeled after that of a highly adored grandparent. We also left him a walkman with a praise and worship cd. Erik LOVES music. I leave after making a few last arrangements which will send Erik home to Canada.
One month later I am able to contact Yanni, one of the tiny Thai ladies who worked at Erik's hostel. She and two other Buddist women had joined me in caring for Erik. In an e-mail Yanni informed me that Erik had died in the hospital about 1 day after I had left Thailand. I cannot tell you the mental war which preoccupied my mind for the next few days. However, I did find my peace when God reminded me of Erik's last prayer for himself. I believe God answered that prayer. I believe God removed me, so that Erik could cry out to no one but Jesus. I could not have helped him, only Christ can. I believe I will see Erik in heaven, TO GOD BE THE GLORY!
God surely pays attention to the details. He orchestrates, He plans, and He moves his "peices" with strategic and loving intentions. I walk into these divine appointments unknowingly and I walk away from them with both hands raised in disbelief (and yet total belief) OF THE COMPLETE & AWE-INSPIRING HOLINESS of God, His loving pursual of ALL people, and His endless labor.
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