|  | | My house is the green one 75 meters past the dead pony | | | | | A few months back I was in Jaco (Costa Rica) and it took me all of 5 minutes to determine that it is the armpit of Costa Rica. It is very much like Detroit…..except that there is no winter to slow the prostitutes and criminals down. One day, I was walking through town and I noticed that there was a poodle sleeping in front of the bank. I always carry a pocket full of dog biscuits (no lie) in my pocket when traveling to “developing countries” and placed one near the dog. The next day I was walking through town and I noticed that the dog was sleeping in the same exact place…….except that the dog biscuit was still there. Well……I knew something was up because if you have been to Costa Rica (or any other developing country for that matter)….you would know that every dog in the country is pretty close to starving…no way this dog did not eat the food unless……….it were dead. I sat there for a while…watching to see if the dog would move…..and sure enough…..no one movement from the dog. I came back the FOLLOWING day…..and the dog was still there. Day 5……the dog was exactly the same except for the fact that it was starting to get bigger. Yup….you guessed it……it was starting to turn into a poodle piñata. I had to leave Jaco on day six…..but I made a special trip by the bank to see if the dog was still there....... and there it was……getting bigger by the minute.
How could these people simply let a dog fester there in the middle town for that long without doing anything about it???? It has now been six months and I think that I have an answer as to why they never moved the poodle.
Just yesterday I was walking to school and noticed a letter lying on the side of the road. I picked it up and saw that it was junk mail for satellite TV service. I looked at it a little longer and noticed the address……and it read:
Jualita Zoraida Lopez
Tercer casa (Verde) appx 75 mts a lado Pablitos Bar
Pasado de basura
In english this reads:
Jualita Zoraida Lopez
3rd house (green) approximately 75 meters next to Pablito’s Bar
Past the trash bin
I shit you not…..this is how addresses read here in Costa Rica. Now, this might be a far fetched theory about the dead poodle…..but my only guess is that someone was waiting for a UPS package nearby and the poodle piñata was the landmark.
Mom…..if you want to send me anything, give me a couple of days notice as my new address with be:
John Ashby
5th house (Grey) past the dead rooster (JesusChrist SuperCock)
45 meters a lado Pablito’s Bar
Pura Vida
PS……pictures of the dead poodle have been posted as well.
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