Ok, I have just come South from Jinja, in Uganda, to the South of Zambia, near to Zimbabwe, and I have learnt a few things on the road...
So, Here's my Twelve Tips for travellers
1) Always check that your driver’s car still has fuel, to carry on the journey
2) If he should run out of fuel, don’t let his pick-up mate tow you with some plastic sacking, into the savannah, for three hours, so that the battery also runs dead on the car… instead force them to go back into the town they just left two minutes before!
3) At a border, Bring enough money to get a bus into the next country.
4) If without enough, having underestimated the rising cost of your visa, illegally enter previous country, and find town with ATM, after a 200km roundtrip.
5) Charge your phone the day before travelling, for a week’s journey.
6) If your phone runs out of power, because you were playing games on it, to use up the time, consider carrying a wind-up charger: it can entertain other passengers, with its novelty value and noise. (esp as one minute winding yields only about 3min charge)
7) Ignore all the people offering to “help” you at the bus station, to find your bus; being especially rude, to show you really mean it.
8) Be ready to apologise to the one person who was actually concerned for your safety, and had been showing you the cheapest and fastest way to travel.
9) Forgive the guy who tells you that the bus goes at 2.30, when he meant at 8.30; because that’s the literal translation in many African languages (see the bible: “at the first hour of the day, etc)
10) Journeys take longer when transporting a canoe, across Africa.
11) If travelling with a guy who’s transporting a canoe, expect him to get even more attention than you at the bus park, and dodge out of the way to find the right bus for you both.
12) If someone asks you why you don’t speak Swahili, don’t get annoyed with them just because it’s only your first day there, or because you forget that everyone’s not born with English as a mother tongue.
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