There was a time, long ago, when I would explain at length, the difference between The Black Country and Birmingham, and how everyone kept getting it wrong. I gave up on this before i'd even reached Heathrow and nowadays resort entirely to saying i'm from Birmingham. Often, even this isn't enough and I've had to follow up on many an occasion with "Birmingham near London", "Birmingham near Manchester", "Birmingham near Liverpool", and even "Birmingham near Nottingham". I've been labelled a Birmingham City fan on far too many occasions, and frequently have to explain that "No, the Queen doesn't live in Birmingham Palace."
By far the most confusion though, seems to arise from a combination of my name, and my accent. The entire continent of Asia seems incapable of understanding this simple arrangement of 4 letters, with the exception of India where I could call on the name's of a number of English cricketers in times of trouble.
"Hello, what is your good name?
"Mike"
"Moyke?"
"No, Mike"
"Moyke?"
"No, Mike"
"Moyke?"
"No, Mike"
"Moyke?"
"Yes"
I've been called Moyke, Mark, Mok, My, Muck and a range of other words containing none of the letters that actually make up my name. To add to the confusion, when using my passport for identification, I somehow get labelled "Mr John from Sweden", and back in Nepal, the staff would pronounce my name correctly, further confusing the children who would try and copy my accent. Full marks must go to the little girls from Muang Sing who defied the rest of their continent by remembering my name a full two weeks after last seeing me, and gold stars also go to Mike from Holland, Mike from Australia, and Mike from California, who all got my name right first time. Could do better awards go to the German doctor in Vientiane who couldn't work out what "Mork" was short for, and to several of my Malaysia volunteer friends who initially stared at me blankly despite also being from Britain...
A big thank you to Sarah who spent a month acting as my interpreter everywhere we went, although it's somewhat worrying that Britain's most revered regional accent apparently needs translating by an Australian...
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