I had been contemplating doing yoga every day since I arrived in Bali. This has been more difficult than one would assume, not due to lack of studios but rather the sheer amount of other activities that compete for my time. My first missed class was due to er...sleeping in. The second missed class was due to massage. I had a very sore neck and legs from my trekking and cycling and didn't see how I could do poetic vinyassa flow looking like gimpy. I figured I would get a quick massage and head to class but of course once I was there on the massage bed, I extended my treatment and missed class. By the third attempt I was determined to make it. I was running late again and did the unthinkable deed of spending a whole $1.50 for a scooter ride across town. (Usually I am too cheap to take a taxi and spend 10 times the taxi fare on foot reflexology for my aching feet.)
I arrived in the nick of time. The class was spread out in a circle around the instructor. She beckoned me in. "Welcome to Meditation through Movement"
Huh? "Is this a form of yoga?" I asked.
"Meditation through Movement is a way of reaching ecstasy or god through your own personal movements. We will close our eyes and dance around the room like woodland nymphs to a series of joyous beats and sounds. We have 5 phases of dance--Flow, Chaos, Lyrical, Staccato, Silence. You must clear your mind, any notion of western dance, and twirl, shake, stomp, sway, jump to the beats until you reach ecstasy."
"So this isn't a yoga class?"
"No, you missed the last flow class by one hour. But perhaps Meditation through Movement is more what you need. Is your mind cluttered? Is your body busy? Are you regretting the amount of booze you drank last night?"
Hmm...Well come to think of it my mind WAS cluttered, I WAS a busybody these days, and alcohol....well I just turned 30 for christsake. Fine I was in.
She smiled at me.
The chaos beats started. Everyone threw his or her hands up in the air. Feet stomped. Dancers whirled past me (with seemingly no rhythm) but I was trying to be nonjudgmental and also try to keep my eyes closed and mind open. I stomped my own feet, swayed my hips, flayed my arms...and then...what was this.... I noticed a woman explaining to the instructor that this whole thing was really far too much hippy for her and she was leaving the class. Well, HER mind certainly wasn't open. To prove how accepting I was, I threw my hands even higher, stomped harder. Yes, I effused acceptance.
The music shifted to lyrical. 'Be carefree like a childlike woodland nymph" the instructor encouraged.
Everyone daintily leaped around the room and then did ribbon dancing motions with their arms. Okay, now I was starting to feel a little silly out here. Woodland nymph really wasn't my thing. Couldn't we do an air guitar instead?
Staccato started. Jerky sharp movements. "Lead with your elbows. Let them say hello to the world. Jerk our your hips and angle your neck” The asked for movements were so strange and awkward that I cheated again and opened my eyes to stare at the other dancers. A man, who apparently thought stripping down to his underpants was a good idea, was huffing loudly and his whole body was spastically jerking. His eyed rolled back in his head and his mouth was hanging open. Oh my god! This man was having a seizure! Right here in mediation through movement!! I ran (pranced) over to the teacher and pointed out the near epileptic. She was busy in staccato herself mastering the elbow to knee move.
"What?! Oh...him? Oh my dear he isn't having a fit! That man has just reached ecstasy."
On the way out of class I pondered stopping by the market to purchase some patchouli incense sticks. I also wondered if I shouldn't find a way to reverse the laser hair removal on my legs. But then I remembered that I already had a great Bond #9 perfume I bought in New York and I should likely leave my legs as is as I have far too many fantastic miniskirts.
So, I likely won't be returning to meditation through movement. I am far from a new age hippy. Plus my week of surf camp down south is about to begin.
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