03 April - 06 May 2003, the boat for Koh Lanta left mid afternoon. it was packed to the gunnels with travellers and touts, the latter offering cheap rooms all over the island. We managed to find one that looked OK at the quieter end of the island, plus offered a free taxi ride to get there. Things soon went downhill as soon as we arrived, the place was filthy, there were no mozzie nets(and it was clear to see the place was swarming1) plus the electricity we'd paid for was faulty and lights flashed on and off like some cheap disco! We complained and got the sparky out who managed to succeed only in smashing the bulb and the fitting. I managed to step in the glass and cut my foot and that was it, out came Sarah's battle horns. enough was enough! After she gave the owner a mouthful and demanded our money back - we packed and headed off up the beach. We found some beach bungalows at a place called 'Clean beach hotel' and sure enough, they were pretty clean and tidy (plus clean towels -heaven!) so we booked in for 250B per night - not a bad result. The beach was pretty good too, almost deserted. Most days we had it to ourselves, which was cool, the only downside was that the visibility wasn't very good for snorkeling so sunbathing was the order of the day - every day. Nightimes were'nt much better, there were a few bars up and down the beach but they wern't much kop either. Most were full of people who obviously never go out at home. They seem to congregate on places like Koh Lanta and Koh Pha Ngan, dress in gaudy Sarong's (male and female) and think its cool to add 'man' to the end of every sentence - come onf GET A LIFE!!) Anohter major downside to Koh Lanta is the price of beer and food. Everything is at least double the price you pay on the mainland, which is still cheap, but it begins to grate on you after a while.
Now, it was about the second night that something very strange began to happen. We began to notice that the odd thing would disappear from time to time, a shoe, the mosquito coils, and plastic bags.We just couldn't work out where they were going, but as in the pat we were both sure we'd just mislaid them and the'y turn up somewhere. We spent the next few days doing more sunbathing. We also got a bike and headed into town. Sarah also had her first lesson on the moped and made a great job of riding all the way back with me screaming behind her and holding my hands over my eyes (if your'e reading this Pat & Christine, she made a much better job than she did in the car park of Cafe Del Doi in Pai - ha ha!!!) The roads on the island are terrible, just loose dust, a foot deep in places. After a days riding my face looked like Papa Lazaru's from League of Gentlemen1 We also checked out the diving prices whilst in town but it was way too expensive so we decided against it, they wanted around 2500b for two boat dives - dream on! Back at the room things were still disappearing, we even had a few crossed words about it that evening - during which I leaned back on the rotten handrail of the balcony, mid strop, which subsequently broke and I feel out ten feet down into the bushes - highly amusing, well so Sarah thought anyway! We had a bit of excitement a day later when we caught a local breaking into someones bungalow, he was about 12 years old, I actually felt sorry for him in a way - it was clear he'd been put up to it. By now I'd had enough of doing nothing and we decided that Sarah would put me out of my misery by letting me book tickets to leave for Kohn Tao the following day - hurrah!
It was in the early hours of the following morning that the mystery of the disappearing things was solved! About 5 a.m. I was woken by a noise outside the mozzie net, it sounded like someboby rustling the plastic bag at the side of the bed, I peered throught, I did't see anything, so went beack to sleep. It happened agin - really loud. I was convinced we were being robbed so I dived out of the net, grabbed my maglite and had a look round the room, nothing - hmmmmm....strange? I decided to take a look under the bed - big mistake. There looking back at me, amongst the missing shoes, plastic bags and other stuff was the biggest rat I have ever seen - red eyes and all that. Being the hardman I am, I made like to Human Cannonball and threw myself through the air back onto the bed and under the lozzie net!! We hit the lights and waited for sunrise until we could pull out the bed and take a good look. Another mistake! As we pulled out the bed we found that a whole family of rats were nesting in the base of the bed - we'd been in there for a whole week - uuuuggghhh - totally gross! Thank god we're leaving that day, we even found out later that the little sods' had eaten into my nice Macpac rucksac - bummer.
Now I know if your'e reading this your'e probably thinking, 'ok, so they went to Krabbi, then Koh Lanta - why the hell are they coming back North to koh tao in the gulf'? Well the answer is we'd heard a rumour of cheap diving, for only 500B per dive. The ferry over was cool, an old merchant vessel with about fifty mattresses laid out under the top deck - open air. Downstairs were live pigs, freight, food, allsorts being shipped over to the island. We travelled overnight and reached Koh Tao by sunrise the following morning - it was beautiful being out on the ocean at that time in the morning. We met a cool guy on the ferry called Mohamed from Paris; we spent quite a few evenings with hom over the coming week. After getting a bike and riding almost right round the islan, we found a room at a place called Tropicana for 300b, really nice, modern and super clean(plus more free towels - yippee!)The place wad right next to buddha View diving school (one of the largest PADI certifying scholls in the world) by con-incidence our friends Gilli & John who me met in Kanchanabury were also staying just up the beach - freaky! The following day we snorkeled out of Shark Bay, sure enough on our way back in we were followed by a Black Tipped Reef shark, it circled us for around ten minutes, at times coming so close I had to kick my fin at it to keep it out of 'nibbling range'! Sarah booked herself on the Advanced Open Water course with buddha View. So over hthe next few days I followed her dives, just as a buddy really. To be honest Sarah's well past Advanced level already so she cruised through the course with relative ease, but it was still great when she completed the final dive and we had another excuse for a party - not that we knormally need one anyhow! The diving of koh tao is nice but not the best, the night divdes seem to be better as it brings out some of the more obscure sealife. The one thing which seemed to be in abundance are ther Blus Spotted Rays which are just fantastic to see.
it was about this point that i mat Mark, Buddha View's main man and the Course Director. i told him I fancied doing my IDC(Instructor Development Course) but knew their's didn't start for another month, plus the IE instructor 9instructor exam) was the 25th may any by that time we'd be in Asutralia. Mark had a think about it and said h'e fit me in on a one-to-one IDC, but i'd have to do the IE in Phuket = back over on the Krabbi coast - sods law eh! Sarah and I mulled it over with regards to costs etc., and dedided I should go for it - now or never eh! without going into minute detail it was exams and presentations all the way from day one, Diving physics, physiology, Skills, Equipment, Dive planning, Standards and Proeedures, it went on and on. Along with this there was naturally a fair bit of diving, practising teaching techniques and problem solving underwater. The course was hard but I enjoyed it, Mark was fantastic and coached me all the way, Sarah spent her days sunbathing and doing the occasional fun dive. She was also the first of us to dive Chumphon Pinnacle and see the Whaleshark, needless to say Sarah was doing somersaults when she came back ashore - I was gutted, i'd been sat in a lecture and missed it, the first and only sighting of the season!However, two days later I was out on a training dive with soome open Water students and what do you think came cruising out of the depths? TWO Whalesharkes - Yeehaaa!! The smaller of the pair even followed our group to the surface, actually nudging us out of the way as we tried to board the boat and get out of its' way! The whole thing as just awesome - once in a lifetime stuff. Sarah actually got it on video for all those of you who think we're telling porkies! Halfway through the course Mark had a birthday party up at his house in the middle of the Island. He'd cooked a whole p[ig over a spit, which waas just excellent - needless to Sarah and I pigged out (literally!!) and got totally wrecked, me so much i couldn't give the Academic presentation I had planned for the folloowing afternoon (but that was ok as I guess Mark was in no fit state to listen anyhow!!!) WE met some great people while we were on Koh Tao. Most of them were DMT's like Suzie (from Sheffield Hallam Uni who I think I remember from Champs!) and Steve and Jay who I met on training dives, some of them had to act as problem students for me which was fun I'm sure - I know Steve certainly enjoyed it! Others like Jimmie (top guy) Sarah had buddied up with on fun dives, Gregg and Becky, Lisa and Lee (fromSheffield) we met in the Buddha View restaurant over a few beers.
Anyhow, the 39th soon came round and it was time to leave for Phuket and the IE. By this time I needless to say I was in a state of panic! After Mark took us for a send off lunch, with Darius and Elizabeth at Cafe de Sol we headed off. We got the ferry as far as Chumporn on the mainland then we hired a private minbus with four other guys who were also on their way to the IE from Ban Divers in Mae Haad. We arrived in Kata, Phuket at around two in the morning (not the place to be at 2.am unless you like ladyboys!) found the hotel and got to bed. The following morning we met Jonas and Christophe, Ban's Course Directors who Mark had asked to look after me on the IE - again. top guys. That evening the IE began at the 5* Tavourn Hotel (very nice) with an orientation and what was expected of us etc., there were maybe 35 other cnaditates from all over S.E.Asia. We also sat the Theory exams which I did really well on 100% in three subjects and 92% in the two others - not bad eh! We also bumped into Gregg and Becky which was cool, a really nice couple we'd met over on Koh Tao, theyr'e travelling to Oz around the same time as us. The following day we started in the pool with Confined water presentations - did well again a 5.0 - top marks, I also got the same on the skills circuit. That afternoon we sat the Standards anbd Proceedures exam - pulled a 98% out of the hat! Then cam the bit i' been dreading the Academic presentation in front of the class plus the Examiner ( the top PADI IDC guy frlowin in from California!) mine was on a comparison between Exponential=Exponential washout, Spencer limits and the Reacreational Dive Planner - nice! I struggled through but still came away with a 4.75 (out of a possible 5.0) By now it was 8pm so our group headed back shattered to the Danish inn where we were all stayinf (food there was the best i've eaten since we started travelling - plus they serve ice cold beer =- BY THE PINT !!! thank God for the Danish!) We ere back out on the Ocean the following day by 8am. kitted up and ready to go. We all had two Open Water presentations to give, then perform and de-brief. I had Buddy breathing (BB) and Partially flooded mask (PF) clearing. I decided to perform PF first then BB the latter being the most likely to go wrong. Both went OK but I missed a porblem on BB, still I got a 5.0 for PF and a 4.2 for BB, pretty good. So that was it, they made us wait 30 minutes for our results but I knew i;d done it - i was an Open Water Instructor - YESSSSS!
I don't think any of you will be surprised when I tell you Sarah and I got drunk out of our heads that evening. Sarah deserved it for being so patient over the last month, and I needed it after a month of being under scrutiny! Us and the group hit Pattong with a vengance, we did the 'ping-pong' shows - the lot. If I tell you I actually saw a woman produce a live mouse and a frog from her nether regions you'll probally think i'd gone mad - but we saw it - for sure - YUK! It was maybe midday when we surfaced the following day - heads thumping. We ate, bought a few gifts and went back to bed!" We did manage to get our onward tickets to Penang- Malaysia booked and we were scheduled to leave Phuket the following morning at 7.30. I can honestly say the IDC and IE are one of the most stressful things i;ve done - but i'd enjoyed it.
From here its back on the road again ........next update from Malaysia!
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