We'll start with Luang Prabang: Before I left they were ramping up for the Lao new year which means big parties over a long weekend . . . and also massive water fights. The water fight part started a bit early however and it seems that tourists are one of the favored targets. Basically what you end up with is a bunch of kids on the side of the road with buckets and squirt guns, and as you try to get by they hose you down; the exceptions being: 1) if you're elderly 2) if you're a monk 3) if you have a camera or cell phone in your hand (waving frantically for mercy) 4) if you're with a small child 5) if you look really grumpy. Naturally I didn't fit into any of these categories so I ended up soaked two days in a row - though it wasn't bad once you could count on it. Yesterday I took/tried to take a speed boat to the border town of Houay Xai. (One thing I sort of forgot to mention was that the speed boat is considered to by quite dangerous because fatalities are common; all of the guide books strongly recommend against it and when I mentioned I was taking the speed boat to other travels they usually gave me one of those looks that either means: "wow . . . this guy is crazy like those people who jump motorcycles over 20 semi-trucks" or "what and idiot!". But my logic was more or less: "well, if it's so dangerous at least is probably won't be boring" - Tougas understands me here.) So I get down to the pier expecting some type of river speed boat and a bunch of adrenaline junky backpackers. What I got was two confused South Koreans and five Lao Businessmen types cramming into a little wooden boat with a four cylinder car engine mounted on the back. (I'll post some photos tomorrow.) Surprisingly the thing got along pretty well at about 40 kph and after twenty minutes I was used to skipping over rapids, whirlpools, and small pieces of garbage floating down the river. And yes, it was absolutely unsafe . . . though kind of fun like one of those bungy slingshots. They say the boats crash because they fold in half if they hit a wave or rapid too hard and I believe it because I could watch the bow flex 20-30 cm every time we hit a wake. Another layer of fun was added every time the captain had to switch gas tanks, which is a manual process that goes something like this: we're scooting along then the engine sputters and dies, they captain frantically tries to start the engine because we're dreamily floating towards a big bunch of jagged rocks, he realizes we're out of fuel, figures out which random container has fuel in it, then takes the fuel line out of the old container and sticks it in the new one, the engine starts and we're off. After a few hours we had gone through this a couple of times and so I didn't suspect anything out of the ordinary on one occasion until the captain started paddling which a stick while shouting in Lao. The guy sitting next to me jumped up, ripped the backboard off our seat, and began paddling like his life depended on it – there were about thirty seconds when I thought: “hmm . . . perhaps it would be good to jump in and swim for shore before we get too close to that rapid down stream” – then the engine miraculously came to life and everything went back to normal within a minute. Of course that’s not the end; we all got kicked off the boat about 40k from Houay Xai after being told the boat “cannot go” even though the larger slow boats seemed to have no problems. They herded us up to the tuk-tuk station (which is also the boat ticket stand) and were forced to spend four dollars on a ticket to Houay Xai by truck despite having speed boat tickets all the way there. Definitely a scam, but the locals forked over so I did as well, but not having any other choice helped too. Once we got to town I learned that speed boats can no longer go between Houay Xai and Luang Prabang – though this didn’t stop the travel agents in Luang Prabang from charging you full price for a ticket to Houay Xai (and naturally no one even knew why speed boats no longer went to Houay Xai). Needless to say I was quite happy to get back to North Thailand this morning where I hopped an easy to find, cheap, and punctual bus to Chiang Rai. I think I’ll kick around here for a day or two before embarking on a 1350 kilometer quest down to Ranong near Burma. Cheers - tanner
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