Howdy partners, and welcome to another fun-packed, laugh stacked rib cracked instalment from ur travelling compadre, The V.Man. Has your apathy turned to terror? Have u suddenly woken up to smell the coffee? Fear not my friends, retribution is at hand - let The V.Man educate u in the ways of change, there I was, meandering quite happily through the twigs and berries of life, when all of a sudden it struck me like a thunderbolt from Thors own staff- what am I doing here?
Thats right folks, The V needs to make some serious decisions re: the future, so its been thought central for the last two weeks. Not to say Im not having fun, this place is awesome with a capital A! As u can see from the award winning photography displayed on this very website, I went snowboarding and boy was it fun! Mjög gaman! I totally tanked, I ended up Morris Brown (down) more times than I care to remember because it was the first time The V.Man had christened a mountain, I attempted a frontside rodeo 720 into a tweaked fs mute for my first trick - end result= a whole foot of air, zero swing, face full of snow, head full of regrets, mountain full of people laughing and kicking dirt in Venturas face. I soon turned the wick though and the tables of fortune didst turn in my favour, as, in classic V.Man style, I lost my temper in a big way, and the snow turned red as I threw caution to the wind and straightlined it down the steepest parts of the mountain. My friends gazed in awe at the tricks and turns, Im now a sponsored rider. Just joking, they gawped in horror as they witnessed me, a reckless novice, thunder down the mountain at breakneck speed, totally making no effort to slow down, and they squirmed in hysterics as they saw me Christian Bale out of the death ride by jumping and taking a pretty bad spill on my shoulder. Embarrassing, but totally worth it,the speed man, it was incredulous. I´ll be going back soon, dont u worry.
Next up, the night in THE HUMMER! Witness the frenzied house party pictures for yourself, Jeez man, Icelanders know how to party, I think theres something, literally, in the water. I have made some really good friends here and Id like to be serious for a moment if I may, they are really great people who will do their best to help u and we all have a lot of fun, my housemates and the people at work. Its class here.
Finally, before I go back to work to face my boss and colleagues and suffer the b#llocking of a lifetime for taking extra long break to broadcast to u news hungry scavengers, I must share with u, the discerning food conoisseurs that u are, my thoughts on this special time in the Icelandic calendar, I liek to call it, Viking week. It has a different name in Icelandic, but basically the whole limp wrist (gist) of the issue is that they keep their culture alive at this time of year by eating the foods their ancestors feasted upon, hold onto your values and put that sandwich back in the bag for just a hot second, as I regail to u the grisly details of the foodstuffs digested by this strong as an ox breed of islanders. FYI people, I have tasted all but one of these morsels, my verdict on each unappatesing course is given in brackets after each listed item. Here we go, the weak stomached amongst u may wish to grab the nearest bucket in which to deposit your lunch - 1. Shark, buried in the ground for 6 months, eaten raw. (From hell people, tastes like ammonia and poison, my recipe to remove the stinging aftertaste - bottle of coke, a whole pack of spearmint mentos). 2.Sheeps head, honest. (The word gross isnt just enough, the texture makes u want to never eat food again, my recipe to remove the aftertaste - an entire bottle of listerine). 3.Sheeps balls. (Surprisingly, the most palletable of the lot of this unsavoury bunch, but still tastes like rotten meat, my recipe to remove the aftertaste - 2litres of sprite). 4. Whale. I know, I know, Im going straight to hell. (Tastes like sour jelly, totally sour, my recipe for removal of aftertaste - 2 litres of chocolate milk). Ok folks, I gotta go, the Jim Carrey thing will have to wait because Im so late for work again now! Bye dudes!
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