After writing my entry yesterday I started thinking about the version of Guatemala I have represented here thus far. Most of my entries thus far have been about my weekend sojourns rather than my daily life and that seems somehow off. Part of it is because daily life is just that - daily life. Part of it is because I am so deep in the midst of it all right now that I do not have the perspective I feel I need to acurately explain what I experience each day. Part of it is my boredom with the insides of internet cafes. Regardless, I feel it is important to share more information about the whole reason I am down here - the project and my kids.
Step one - the kids. As most of you know I have always said that I never wanted children, even as I near 30. That has not changed but I now can understand why people love kids and might want them (a somewhat new revelation, admittedly). I adore my students more than words can say.
Many of them have been very difficult, especially at the beginning. Some of the kids jumped on me the very first day with open arms while others took much longer to relax around me. One girl in particular, Maria, was fully evil to me for the first few weeks complete with punches, kicking me every time I walked past her, sticking her tongue out at me, spitting at me, etc. She is also the dirtiest kid in class by far and wonīt respond to anyone for the first half hour of every day, and apparently her little sister in one of the younger classes is the exact same way. They just glare at you in silence no matter what you do. Clearly, whatever their story is, its a harsh one. Anyways, after those first few weeks of hell Maria apparently had decided I was okay after all and we have been best friends ever since. She comes running down the hall yelling my name when she sees me each day and I have to practically peel her of of me at the end of the day. The story with her mirrors many of the progressions with the other kids. They are tough little survivors and donīt trust easily but after two months together we all have developed pretty close relationships. The thought of leaving them this week breaks my heart. And as hard as it will be on me, it must be even harder on them becuase when I leave another volunteer will take my place and the whole thing will start all over again, on and on the cycle goes.
This leads me to discuss my impressions of Camino Seguro. I took a blind leap of faith when I came down here after finding this organization on the internet. Thankfully, I have been impressed beyond all words by the organization on both a policy and a front line basis. The entire organization is unwaveringly committed to the kids and their families and absolutely every single decision revolves around them. There are 100-plus Guatemalan (paid) staff members and an average of 40 international volunteers. The volunteers have been an interesting mix of college students, mid-career grown-folk who are taking a year off, and retired couples who are here to draw on thier many years of knowledge and expertise (including someone who worked for NASA for 30 years and launched a shuttle to Mars the week before he arrived in Guatemala to work for a year). The programs are pragmatic, recognizing the many challenges our students face and acknowledging that the solutions must be multi-generational. There is no magic wand anyone can wave here.
As for the community, it has been harsh at times and beautiful at others. I went on a tour last week to the Mirador (lookout) over the dump itself and I will admit it shook me up pretty badly. We walked through a graveyard to get to the lookout point, easy to find thanks to the never ending circling vultures. The dump itself is in a massive river valley that is quickly being filled to the top rim with the garbage. Trucks come in, pull up near the edge of the pile and dump their loads, followed by bulldozers who push it over the edge of the top of the exsting pile. In between, hundreds of people scramble up over the garbage as it pours out of the truck, scaveging whatever they can. The people place their hands on the edge of the truck as it enters the gate to stake their claim on each truck as they walk with it to the edge of the dump site. The dump here is multi-purpose....household waste, industrial waste and medical waste all get dumped in there together into one massive toxic stew. A small handful of the people wear masks, but most are just in bare hands and whatever shoes they had found earlier. These are the parents of our kids, most of whom have been working there for 20-plus years every single day with no end in sight. Realistically, this is also where many of our kids are going to end up working. The difference this time will be that they will start working there at 18 instead of 6 and will know how to read and write when they do. Hopefully, with each generation the possibilities will open wider and wider for a greater number of people and many who would have otherwise had no options will be able to fulfill other dreams. The problem is not with the work per say, but rather with the lack of choice in the work and the age that the kids lose their ability to choose. If you are 18, too poor to access education of any sort, illiterate and sick from working in the dump for a decade, your manifest ability to choose other life paths are severely limited. People need to see that there are other models available in order to imagine them and this is probably the most important aspect of what the teachers and the project as a whole are trying to do.
All this being said, my time here has been filled with far more laughter than tears. The context is difficult, yes, but people are brilliant and funny and strong and proud and these are the qualities that infuse my daily interactions with my students and their families. Some of the kids come from harsh families to be sure but others come from families trying to do their best in their specific situations. Some of the moms are very involved in the project and many are accessing adult literacy stuff through us so they can be better equipped to help their kids with their homework. The kids are generous and affectionate and many are fiercely protective of each other. I spend my days in stiches from all the funny things they are constantly doing. My kids are right in the middle of learning to read and watching the joy on their faces as they finish each page is thrilling. Some are great little blossoming artists, others are math whizes ad others are destined to be great comedic talents of our time. Each of them are these complex beautiful people whom I adore. I am humbled to know each of them.
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